Talking to Chuck

I've been talking to Chuck quite a bit over the past three months. The quick-of-mind and ad-aware among you will realize that means I've spent quite a few hours dealing with Charles Schwab. My father, mother, and I all have/had accounts at that fine institution, but I didn't pay significant attention to my own, meager balances until my dad's passing.

In past years, I'd only think about funding my IRA when a statement reminded me or when, for instance, my dad would suddenly ask me while we were waiting to tee off on the eighth hole. "Say, did you put any money into your IRA yet this year?" My face turns red. A sheepish "no" crosses my lips. Mental notes are made. Then forgotten. At some other time, I'll explain about my amazing, fiscally conservative grandfather who passed on many of his traits to his eldest, highly successful son. And how those traits didn't fully move on to the next generation (me).

Anyway, I've been helping to settle my dad's estate, transfer his accounts, deal with my mom's accounts, and other fun stuff at Charles Schwab. Oddly enough, they treat you pretty well when you have more than a few measly dollars hanging out in an IRA or basic account. They also repeatedly show you books full of pie charts, investment plans, past results, the history of large caps and small caps and bonds and CDs and blah blah blah.

I fancy myself a fairly bright cookie. I'm no genius, but if you show me the same pie chart six or seven times, I get the point. I've attempted to use that knowledge to rearrange my own portfolio. See that? I'm using words like "portfolio" now. Baby all grows up. I spent a few weeks selling a couple things, buying a lot of things, moving funds, and generally acting like I know what the hell I'm doing. This shit scares me. I hate gambling because I hate losing money, but I fully understand the quarter-to-slot and dollar chip-to-blackjack dealer transactions. Investing? Well, I think have some of the basics down, but I know it's not simple. I'm probably not maximizing my potential gains. I'm probably not protecting myself against loses. I'm certainly out of my league. I probably shouldn't be checking the balances every day.

But...I'm trying to stay positive. All I can really do is try a few different things and see how they work, right? My dad would either be proud of me for taking charge or scoffing at some of my investment decisions. I'm not sure which it would be, and I'm sure he wouldn't have shown his feelings either way.